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If I was a girl, I would sit around defenseless and allow you treat me with utter disdain. I will let you get into my head so much that everything I do will become a reflection of you. I will look to you for approval before doing anything

If I was a girl, I will allow you hit me and believe that I deserved it and you did that for my own good. I will never speak until spoken to. We will have monologues (you talk, I listen). I will never question any of your ideas because I wouldn’t know better.

If I was a girl, I will cry daily. Helpless in my unhappiness; but too weak to make a move. I dare not be assertive because that may upset you and what will my life be without you?

If I was a girl, I will never think of improving myself for fear of being better than you. You will be allowed to choose my friends and allow me hang out with them only when you are present. My phone calls will be recorded and everyone on my contact list has to be approved by you

If I was a girl, I would never seek to make your life better because you are already ‘perfect’. I will watch you drown in your own ignorance but never lend a helping hand. I will always ‘take’ from you without replenishment. You will be my treasure chest; all I need do is make demands

If I was a girl, your future won’t matter to me. After all, your job is to take care of me. All I need do is sit and look pretty. I will question your need to save or invest money as against my wants.

If I was a girl, I will treat us as separate entities not requiring unison to move forward. You cannot share your goals and aspirations with me because I will not have any contribution to make. All I care about is my wants being met

But I am not a girl… I am a woman who knows her worth and while I will not rub it in your face; I am not afraid to be strong. I know what I want and I am not afraid to go after it. I am submissive but not stupid. I listen but also offer suggestions. I will not be abused or brain washed, I am equally a human being with feelings

I will respect you and support your dreams and aspirations. I will treat us as a complete unit, so hurting you will be hurting me. I will argue sometimes not because I am being rude, but because I respect you too much to allow you go downhill

As a woman, I understand our different roles and will never cross my boundaries. I will be your friend, sister, mother, wife, partner… everything to make us better people. I will let you take care of me but I will ensure that you never run dry either physically, emotionally, spiritually or financially. I am you, you are us, and we are one

So next time you walk up to me, make sure you are clear on what you want. A girl or a woman?





Maya Angelou

Marguerite Annie Johnson also known as “Maya Angelou” was an American Author, Poet & Civil rights activist. She published seven autobiographies & several books of poetry. During her lifetime, she received dozens of awards & several honorary degrees

Growing up wasn’t easy for young Maya. She was from a broken home and was sexually abused & raped by her mum’s boyfriend at the age of 8. He was later found guilty and jailed for one day, but four days later; he was murdered. Angelou became mute for 5years following that incident as she blamed herself for his death because she reported him to her family. It was during her period of silence that Maya developed a love for books & literature

As a young adult before her fame; Maya worked as a Cook, Sex worker, & Nightclub dancer among others. She also battled depression several times in her life, when she lost some dear friends

Maya Angelou’s several autobiographies are about her tumultuous times growing up and how she found the strength to move past those incidents to become the lady we have all come to love & respect

She is an inspiration to many, a hope to those who believe there’s nothing more to life & a lesson to everyone that we can all make “lemonade from the lemons life throws at us”



Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at me, I could tell that the pent up emotions were giving way. For the first time, I noticed her beautiful eyes; big, black eyes…looking into my soul. I wanted to look away, I willed myself to look away but I was transfixed. They were trying to tell me something and I yearned to know what it was

But as I stared at her, I noticed her imperfections. They were so beautiful, perfectly imperfect. I wondered why I never noticed them before. Her skin was so radiant, I could almost see right through her. She looked so soft and fragile, yet there was strength in her gaze. I could tell she had been through a lot but the optimism in her look could not be mistaken

The tears kept falling but she did nothing to wipe them. She didn’t make a sound but I could tell that there was chaos inside her. Her thoughts were so loud, that even the silence was deafening. It had been a long time coming. I could tell that she had been strong for so long but right now, everything was falling apart

I wanted to reach out to her, hold her, comfort her, tell her soothing words but I didn’t know how to go about it. I knew she didn’t want pity; all she wanted was to be understood. I wanted to tell her how much I understood but words failed me

Then something strange happened, she began to smile. A smile from deep within; that “knowing” smile showing that all will be well. My heart skipped a beat, I knew that look, and I had seen it before. I was going to scream and tell the whole world to watch out for the queen that was about to emerge. “This phase is complete”; she was moving on to the next one

I wanted to tell her how strong she was, how proud I was of her achievements and how amazed I was of her resilience and optimism; but I didn’t have to… because somehow, she already knew

I will forever be encouraged by the “woman in my mirror”

Have you spoken to the man/woman in your mirror lately?





Joke Silva is a Nigerian Actress, Director, Business Woman & beautiful wife of veteran Nigerian Actor; Olu Jacobs

She began her career in film in the early 1990s. In 1998, she starred in a major role opposite Actors; Colin Firth & Nia Long in the British Canadian film; “The secret laughter of women”. She has also won countless African Movie Academy Awards

In 2012, the United Nations Office on Drugs & Crime appointed Joke Silva as goodwill ambassador and her tenure lasted 3 years. Her role was focused on the fight against human trafficking in Nigeria

Joke Silva in 2014 received recognition as a “Member of her order of the Federal Republic”; one of Nigeria’s National Honors Awards. She is also a philanthropist & a strong supporter of woman empowerment

She is our “Woman Crush Wednesday” because of her hard work over the years and huge contribution in grooming young talents in the film industry.



“You see a man diligent in his work; he will stand before kings”

You have toiled all night & you are yet to receive the fruit of your labor. It feels like you are working in vain. It’s like the more you work, the higher the bills. You are tired emotionally and though you keep pushing forward; deep down you’ve lost the will power to continue

We have all been there at some point in our lives. However, the truth is that; it will pass. No matter how horrible you feel, no matter how bleak you think the future is; the situation will change someday. The least you can do is get up every day & “show up”. Concentrate on taking one step at a time. You may have a long road ahead but the race is not to the swift. Walk that road at your pace. Sooner than later; you will get to the end of it

Keep moving & someday you will wake up to realize that the world around you has changed.

We wish you a “progressive” week ahead with all our love.



“Martha, you really need to do something about this issue. It’s taking forever to be resolved” Martha wasn’t going to give in to her mum’s emotional blackmail. She had been talking about this issue for days but Martha wasn’t ready to budge. It was her life and she deserved to take a break whenever she so desired

This break had been long overdue but for countless advice from her family and mentors; she would have walked away a long time ago. She would have walked away from this ‘sham’ the world called a relationship. She stayed in the relationship for fear of not being able to get into another because of her age. He took advantage of that & never failed to bring it up whenever they had an argument

Everyone around them looked forward to the wedding, as they had been together for so long. Martha played along when he proposed; although, deep down she didn’t feel right about the whole thing. A relationship could be managed but a marriage was another ball game

As the day drew closer, Martha settled into a world of silence. She wanted to say so much but words failed her. She wanted to protest but that would cause more drama. So she sat in silence as preparations went on. She only spoke when spoken to; and it was usually just a few words. People didn’t think her “silence” was strange; they thought it was her way of expressing excitement at finally getting married

Her fiancé didn’t seem to mind the “arrangement”. Martha was perfect “wife material” for him; she never questioned his decisions. He would live like a “married bachelor”; he was ecstatic

Martha tried to speak several times but didn’t know what to say. She hoped they could hear her through the silence. Maybe if they all moved past their selfish desire to marry her off; they would notice that she was in pain

How could she explain the fact that the man she was about to marry was not the person they thought he was? They had dated for so long & she had never doubted his lies about being an orphan with no siblings.  It was only a few weeks to the wedding when she received the phone call from a woman claiming to be John’s mum. Upon further investigation; it turned out that his parents were alive & he had 4 siblings

Martha knew John; he was too clever for his own good. If she confronted him, he would wriggle his way out. She was afraid to tell anyone; they won’t think it was a serious issue. After all, he wasn’t a murderer or thief; just a man who lied about his real identity. She knew she had to stop the wedding preparations because he probably was hiding a lot more. So in silence, she hatched her plan

The tell tale signs were there all through the relationship but people called her paranoid & nosey. “Men will always wander; it’s in their nature” – they said. Martha was told to be less judgmental and conscious of the fact that she wasn’t getting any younger

When John’s parents showed up on the morning of their supposed wedding day; his reaction alone was enough to send everyone into frenzy that led to the postponement of the wedding.




Gabourey Sidibe

Our WCW for this week is the super talented “Gabourey Sidibe” also known as “Becky” from the hit FOX musical drama series “EMPIRE”

Gabourey came into the limelight after playing the lead character in the movie “Precious”; for which she got an Academy Award nomination for “Best Actress” and Golden Globe nomination for “Best performance by an Actress”

She is often criticized because of her weight and she has been very vocal about her struggles with weight loss. Gabourey has stated that in the beginning of her career, she was advised to seek another profession as the movie industry is very image conscious. However, this didn’t deter her from staying on. Her determination & hard work paid off as she has won several awards for her performances in movies & TV series

Gabourey Sidibe has shown that hard work trumps look every time. Following your dream may cost you, but it usually pays off in the end.

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