It is interesting how so many people spend a lifetime chasing their “wants” and completely ignoring their “needs”. This is one of the many reasons some people are unhappy even when it seems like they have “it all”
- You WANT a car, but what you really NEED is a comfortable & reliable means of transportation to get you from point A to point B
- You WANT to be wealthy, but what you really NEED is to be able to acquire all that you require to make life comfortable for you & your loved ones
- You WANT to be famous but what you really NEED is for people to know & understand what you stand for in relation to impacting people’s lives; and by extension, the world
- You WANT to get married but what you really NEED is a worthy partner who is ready to journey with you through life as you support each other to fulfill life’s purpose
- You WANT a job but what you really NEED is a reliable source of income that will cater to your needs and give you fulfillment
- You WANT companionship/sex but what you really NEED is sincere & non-judgmental love
I decided to take a walk down memory lane; it’s amazing how far I have come. I thought back to the times when I was sure certain situations would kill me; but I am still standing. I struggled for a long time; struggled to understand my life’s purpose. Every time I thought I had found it, I was quickly reminded that it was still a long way off; or so I thought
I remember when I thought I had life all figured out; as though I was promised tomorrow. I would sit hours, making plans on how I would take over the world. I would put my facts & figures together & be convinced that I had the power to make things happen. My mindset was not the problem; the real issue was staying the course. Often times I’d try out my plans & they would fall flat. When that happened, I usually lost hope. With failure entrenched in my mind and rejection all over my face; I would force myself to try something new
It was much later in life that I realized that to achieve my goals; I had to do the work. The work wasn’t a onetime event; I had to keep at it despite all odds. All I needed was the conviction & passion to pursue my goal. Many years down the line, I realize that I have been chasing shadows while reality stared me in the face
If I could be real for a moment; I’d tell you that the answers we seek are right in front of us clothed as problems/stumbling blocks.
Life is not a bed of roses. You may need to learn the intangible dynamics to be able to withstand life’s many pressures. As much as physical well being is key, if your mental health is weak; the likelihood of pulling through is very low. If this is the case, why have we paid less attention to mental health?
Those who are vocal about their struggles with mental health are stigmatized, some who are struggling are afraid to admit it for fear of rejection, others just don’t understand what they are experiencing & give up before their life even begins
We tend to pay less attention to things that we cannot see; perhaps it’s because they can be easily hidden. A life where appearances are considered better than reality is a disaster waiting to happen. There’s need to understand that a fulfilled life can only be obtained when there’s a balance “mentally & physically”. I dare say that everyone at some point in their life has broken down mentally. Some people are stronger & pull through on their own; others aren’t but don’t know where to seek help. They are afraid of being misunderstood. They manage through life carrying a baggage that is not theirs in the first place. When we stigmatize people, we are not being our brother’s keeper. Sometimes, all they need is a listening ear, someone to tell them that they are not weird & will never be alone
Mental health is not tied to ethnicity, race, sex, belief, etc. It is something that affects everyone & it’s in our best interest to ensure that we give it the much needed attention.
Our Woman Crush Wednesday for this week is a Nigerian Makeup Artist & Lawyer who pioneered the bridal makeup profession in Nigeria. She established the first makeup school in Nigeria
Tara is the Founder/CEO of “House of Tara International”. In 2013, Forbes listed her as one of 20 Young Power Women in Africa. She started her makeup company as an undergraduate in the faculty of Law; Lagos State University in 1998. The company now has 3 main lines of business; “Makeup Studio, Makeup School and Tara product line of beauty products & professional makeup kits”
“House of Tara” has won several awards like; The Entrepreneur of the year award 2007, Creative business award, 2008; among others. She has also been featured on CNN’s African Voices. She works as a mentor to thousands of young women across Africa as a standout Entrepreneur
Tara Fela – Durotoye continues to show that you can achieve anything you set out to do.
Every now and then, people go through tough times in life but they eventually bounce back. Depression is much more than having a bad day or a bad moment. It goes way deeper than that and has severe consequences
SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION
- FEELING OF SADNESS OR HOPELESSNESS: Nothing seems to cheer you up. You are in a state of complete indifference
- IRRITABILITY OR ANGRY OUTBURSTS : The slightest action or incident, upsets you
- LOSS OF PLEASURE/INTEREST IN NORMAL ACTIVITIES : Activities that used to excite you, no longer appeal to you
- UNUSUAL SLEEP PATTERN: Some people have insomnia & are unable to sleep well. Others may begin to sleep too much as they see it as a form of escape from reality
- CONSTANT TIREDNESS : Even the littlest tasks become cumbersome
- CHANGES IN APPETITE: Most often, there is reduced appetite & weight loss. However in some cases, people tend to eat more than usual
- SUICIDAL THOUGHTS & ATTEMPTS : The feeling of hopelessness, leads people to thoughts of ending their lives
If you have/experience any of the above symptoms; please speak to a loved one about it, try not to be alone but stay amongst friends or simply seek professional help from a psychologist or psychiatrist.
There’s also a helpline in Nigeria for people who have suicidal thoughts: –
“+234 806 210 6493 or +234 809 210 6493”. Please don’t be ashamed to seek help; every human life is valuable.